recently i took photo with chu yan and nicholas.. because of the photo is too ugly, i decided not to post.. haha... The world is full of disappointment... Nevertheless, we still need to continue with life.. This is what i have learned.. Maybe some people understood this but i just don't understand in the past.. changing must be meanful.. haha.. i will not let anyone affect me... i still love the life i used to lead.. dldw... this would probably be the life i want... however, i need to experience more things to let me grow up in terms of thinking and handling things... i should not avoid it as avoid is not a good way to solve the problem.. It is time for me to learn.. whatever things that happened, i must face it bravely... i used to be this kind of person.. but, today i will not be this kind of person anymore.. I am not young anymore.. i will face it bravely now... no matter what happen, i am willing to bear it... haha... few days back, i was still catching the my date with vampire 2 and i am so engross with it, i dream of it 3 times... haha... oh man... i fall in love to be a vampire... haha... i like the actor kuo tian you or kuo guo hua and also ma xiao ling... but i don't really like the ending.. haha... if there are vampire exists, i would like to experience it... but there will be disadvantage too.. i just want to have a short feel.. and that is enough... if there are vampire in the world, i don't think it will be like the vampire in the show my date with a vampire, having super natural power.. haha... maybe i like super natural power too much and i want to be a hero... but there are also good and bad to be a hero... like bigger responsibility.... i must learn to be content with what i have... haha... jian dan jiu shi mei... i think of a lot of things... sometimes, i feel so clueless.. i hope i will have a good dream today.. maybe someone in my dream to tell me what am i going to do the next step.. haha... nobody knows me well including myself.. i think only god knows it well... well.. when i say let nature take its course, normally, i cannot do that... it is very hard for me to do... i hope i can accomplish what i want... maybe not everything... haha... i like my msn name now... haha.. nobody can be trusted fully... this is what i always believe in secondary school... so far, i am waiting for someone.. to prove me wrong.. maybe i should continue to believe it? sometimes i think life is a ku hai... i hope i can tuo li this ku hai asap..

There are a lot of things happening recently... This thing shows me how scary i am... i think she doesn't want to be friend with me already... even i myself didn't expect how scary i am... i only know myself well through this incident... i feel that i am not who i was now... hais... i feel that all these years has changed who i was due to the huan jing... I want go back to who i was... I hate being myself now... Or maybe i am this kind of person.... Why can't i be the person i wish to be? will she believe me?? I don't think so.. even i myself don't believe it... what is happening to me?? I hope i can changed for the better...

For now, i am feel very vexed with things. School stuffs and more. Hai... I am afraid i might not able to take it. Especailly this week, all the things are like coming together.. I have a slight headache just now and I hope that i won't fall sick. I have something to talk to bestie today but she was busy and when the next sentence she said to me is got to go. I am like packed for the next few days and next week is my Critical Reasoning Skills presentation and i will need to wear formal to school. I had just hand in the SPOT application form. I hope i will be in the programme cause i want to be a well rounder in things. Apart from that, i want to take diploma plus. I am not sure if i am asking too much and trying to accomplish so many things at a go. I hope I won't give up anything. If I am being forced to give up, i will have to give up. I always have a poor time management i hope i am able to enter into the programme and through the programme, I am able to learn time management better. Also, I am awaiting my piano. Only through music can help me relaxed myself and give me motivation to carry on. I am going to sleep now. ZZzzZzZz

The carefree day i had... i really miss that...

All of sudden, i felt very cluesless and i felt very irritated... i am freak out by the things happening to me whenever i think... why is things getting complicated and people become like this... hais... disappointment arising and who should i trust??? i hope things can go back to what it was... what is on everyone's mind??? Despite performing not bad academically, i did not feel happy... maybe that is what my brother said, i will see more people's true colour when i go to polytechnic.. hais... i want to stay out of this affair... i think it is better to be a normal person... no stress no nothing... life is simple... eat and sleep.... =x
bestie... hais... somehow i can sense that you don't trust me... when we were on the phone yesterday... i think i also don't understand you... i don't understand everyone... i am really thinking very much... i couldn't help it... i thought i am better this morning but worse in the noon.. lol... my feelings are very complicated... happy that i am okay with chermaine, shocked by what people's action and thinking, disappointment, irritated, sad.... hais.... it is very complicated... this is the first time i experience this.. totally lost...

Hmm... there is a lot of thing i need to learn... I have a lot of things that is troubling me... hais... a lot things is happening... i hope i can have a peace.. i am so sorry to my bestie... sorry that i hsve disappointed you... i think you would probably not trust me... Hmm... and our friendship will be affected... i didn't expect things will turn out like this... all my fault.... i just want to help you to tell nicholas... all is my fault... if i know i will play piano till so long, i will not play... hais... i am seriously a disappointment... hais... i can understand what you feel as i have experienced it before... it is okay if you don't trust me... i shall not think so much... as what i say... Let nature take its course... haha... No matter what happen, i will not abandon my bestie =D Jia You bestie for your coming exam...